I lost count of the days a long time ago. I’ve certainly passed 100 by now; it wouldn’t surprise me if I’m even nearing 200.

Not that it matters. The number isn’t important. The results are.

I performed in a show last month – these photos are from the dress rehearsal. I was in two pieces. “A little bit of Mozart” was a fun, cute, playful piece which I loved, since I could really perform a character in that piece. “Before the verge” was twelve minutes of running, jumping, never leaving the stage. It kicked my butt. But I learned to love it, by the time we performed it.

It was so much fun being on stage again. That is why I am doing this.

But I wouldn’t say I’ve made it. Not yet, anyways.

I’m getting there.

This was a show with a friend’s contemporary ballet company. While it was fun, and I loved being a part of a family of dancers again, it wasn’t enough.

I need more. A higher caliber of dance. To be performing with and constantly surrounded by the most amazing dancers. To be constantly pushed to be at my very best, both in class and rehearsal.

But that’s okay. I’ll get there someday. One of these days. Soon, I hope.

After all, I’ve improved greatly in the last nine months.

If you compare 2010 Allison and 2011 Allison… I’m not even sure we’re the same person anymore.

2010 Allison knew she wanted to be a ballerina someday, but didn’t actually believe she ever could.

2011 Allison actually thinks there’s a chance. 2011 Allison has seen the difference nine months has made.

If you could see me now…

… you’d see someone who is determined to make it, even if the odds often seem to be stacked against her.

… you’d see someone who obsesses about her corrections and is constantly focusing on the details of her posture and movements in class, in an effort to improve even just a little bit every day.

… you’d see me, an almost-25-year-old dancer who’s working as hard as she can to be the best that she can be. But you’d also see the little girl inside of me, who never stopped wanting to be a ballerina when she grows up…